I know i didn't post anything in this blog for decades now. But today im posting basically for the sake of my own reading. Whomever stumble upon this post feel free to read though you may not understand thoroughly on what the hell is going on.
I met this guy through my housemate which my housemate is currently date his best friend or some sort. The first time i met him he was gentle, nice and reserve which immediately made me attracted to him.
Then i tried to keep myself calm and remind myself not to do anything stupid but in the end i made lame and stupid jokes which he laughed non-stop. I was glad that i can make him smile and i wish i can do that for the rest of my life back then.
After a few weeks of contemplating whether to approach him, i decided its time for me to make a move. I know i have nothing to lose hence in my mind screamed "what the heck are you waiting for?! Just go la fucker!".
I followed him in instagram which led me to his tweethandle in twitter. We 'liked' each other's pictures and retweeted each other's tweets which is the modern way of saying "hey how's it goin'?"
I took the courage to direct message him in twitter to request for his phone number for the excuse that i wanted to text him since im bored as hell (yeah i know lame excuse but at least he bought it).
So we texted day and night asking silly questions like any love struck person would ask. Hows the day, what kind of meal youve eaten, bla bla bla.... Completely boring question.
Then a few weeks later, after he came back from his holidays, we decided to meet up for an official date. We went for dinner and talk all night long. It seems that the night couldnt get any better.
Suddenly he dropped the bomb and said that he would only consider me as a friend. Since then i became restless. Uncertain. Broken hearted. This is the third time my heart was broken and shattered to pieces.
Today i've never felt so alone. Had a terrible day at the office and adding this issue on top of it is like pouring acid on an open wound. It hurts soo bad and i can't even describe how i feel right now. I can't eat. I haven't had anything since this morning.
Maybe this moment made me realised that i could never be loved by someone whom i love to begin with...