The Interview

woke up this morning due to a telephone ring from a friend of mine. Neo Anderson.

he called and said that someone will send an e-mail for an interview regarding lifestyle about gay man. Since i just woke up i just answered the question given :

Secara jujur anda tertarik dengan lelaki yang bagaimana? Ciri-ciri mereka?

in general I’m attracted to masculinity and a moderate level of self confidence. Good looks is a bonus feature for me.

Ceritakan tentang komuniti homoseksual di Malaysia dari segi aktiviti, tempat2 pertemuan popular, dll.

Apa yang anda selalu buat? Dimana anda selalu pergi bersama pasangan, etc?

 Gay people are the same as any other people. We hang out at the usual places as anybody hang out. Shopping mall, night clubs, and we even play sports.
As for our favourite meeting spot, it depends on the person itself. Most of us hang out at Tasik Permaisuri which is “the” place for People Like Us (PLU’s for short). But as for some of us, chilling at kopitiam and window shopping is more fun since some of us didn’t like much to expose ourself in the gay scene.

Adakah anda mencintai pasangan anda? Kenapa anda memilih untuk bersama dengan lelaki?Tidakkah anda rasa aneh?

 As for the moment I didn’t have any partner in my life… yet. But I used to have one and I loved him dearly. As for your question why do I choose to be gay, I’d have to say, nobody choose themselves to be gay or straight. Don’t you think it would be an easier life for us if we were straight? We don’t have to lie, pretend to be straight just to avoid the mockery that our community thrown upon us. We don’t choose this kind of lifestyle as people don’t choose to be tall or short, blue eyed or brown eyed. Heterosexual or homosexual. Yes it is awkward, but would it be better if we just pretend to be gay and get married to some innocent girl? Of course not right?

Ramai golongan gay beri alasan ‘salakah saya suka gay?’ bila kecenderungan mereka itu dikritik. Pernahkah anda menuturkan kata-kata itu? Kepada siapa? Bila kali terakhir?

 To me, whenever people question my sexuality, I would ask the person back. “ do you choose yourself to be straight?” it’s as simple as that. I can’t recall when was the last time I said it. Probably a long-long time ago.

Siapa pasangan anda?dari negara mana?

my previous boyfriend was as Sarawakian. So he’s a Malaysian.

Di Malaysia golongan sebegini tidak berapa diterima kerana kekangan agama dan budaya. Pernahkah anda terfikir untuk berhijrah ke luar negara yang menghalalkannya? dan pernahkah anda berfikir untuk berkahwin?

I’ve always thought of migrating to another country. But that is based on my personal problem. To me where ever you go to, there will be people who will be difficult towards you because of your sexuality. Hence running away is never a primary option for me. Getting married is every gay guys dream. We also wish everyday that one day that we will turn straight and lead a normal life. But that depends on the individual opinion I guess.

Macammana permulaan cerita anda, bila anda mula menyukai lelaki? sebab2, dan bagaimana hidup anda bersama pasangan.

I’ve started to realized that I was gay when I was 12 years old I guess. But at that point of time I never knew such terms existed. I kept it hidden until I pursued my studies in university.

Ada yang mengatakan pasangan sebegitu lebih loving, caring dari pasangan biasa. pendapat anda? Adakah anda suka tukar2 pasangan?

No I don’t like to exchange partners like some gay people do. All in all, gay people are just like any other people. We are the same. Some of us might be caring and loving. But some of us just a typical guy. The only difference is that we are gay. That’s all.

Pernah bercinta dengan gadis sebelum ini? Pernah terfikir untuk berubah? Rasanya sampai bila anda akan mcm tu?

I used to have a relationship with a girl. That was when I was 17 I guess. But it didn’t work out based on obvious reason.

we do think of changing ourselves to be straight. And we know someday, if god’s willing, we will. We will never know how long it’s going to take for us to be gay. I guess until we didn’t like guys anymore perhaps. Ehehe

Pernah tak menyesal? Bagaimana pula dengan pandangan masyarakat terhadap anda?

I’ve never regretted that I’m gay. As for the people around me, I’m blessed to have friends that understand my situation and giving me support for all this time.

Ibu bapa anda tahu tentang hubungan anda?

I think my parents knew that I’m gay indirectly. But since we’re living in this kind of community I guess their reponses is normal for me. I guess they just need more time to educate themselves and in due time, they would understand my situation.

Ramai mengatakan golongan lelaki yang berpendapatan tinggi dan ada rupa kebanyakannya terlibat dengan perkara ini. komen anda?
I don’t agree with that statement. Yes, maybe most of us have good looks and yes, maybe some of us is successful in our life. But that does not apply to every single gay man in town. In the end, we’re just human. And we crave what any man crave for; being successful in life. And since we’re gay, maybe we have more understandings in the difficulties in life that we’re facing. From there we gain experience and study human behaviour at the same time. All of us would want to move forward in our life. Same as any other people.